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Saturday, May 24, 2008

Behind Every Faithful Man is a Very Smart Woman

Take a look at my 5 tips on how to keep your man happy and interested. As seen in the May 2008 issue of L.A. Direct Magazine.

Let’s just face it: some men cheat. Open up any national newspaper these days and you’ll see the evidence. Now that’s not to say the women in these relationships are the ones to blame. Some men just aren’t born with the monogamous gene. But it does inspire some interesting questions about whether or not infidelity can be avoided. In researching my novel, The Fidelity Files, I found that faithful relationships tend to have one thing in common: a woman who knows how to handle her man. And there’s a lot to be learned from these women’s secrets so I’ve compiled a list of my favorite tips on how to keep your man’s attention fully focused on you.

1) Don’t Reveal the Woman Behind the Curtain

For those of us who aren’t 22 anymore, it actually takes time and some effort to make ourselves look beautiful. But men don’t necessarily need to know that. Laura, 53, has been married to the same loyal and devoted husband for 30 years. And she says the secret to a happy marriage is separate bathrooms. “When we go out at night, I want him to look at me and think, ‘Wow, she’s so effortlessly striking.’ That’s why I never let him see me getting ready. It’s like going backstage at Disneyland. The magic is ruined.” One of the reasons dating is so much fun for men is because a beautiful woman simply appears before him and he doesn’t see the process behind it. Keeping this same illusion alive in your relationship can help restore some of the mystery that naturally fades away with time.

2) “Come Here Often?”

The honeymoon phase is called a “phase” for a reason. Eventually the novelty wears off and gives way to one of the biggest relationship threats of all: routine. When this happens, it’s important to make an extra effort to keep things interesting. Michael, a retired restaurant owner, says his wife sometimes likes to pretend to be strangers in public. “She’ll be sitting at the bar, looking amazing, and I get to try to pick her up. When she agrees to come home with me, I end up looking like the biggest stud in the room. It’s a major ego boost.” Most men enjoy the thrill of a flirtatious encounter. A role play such as this one is a safe and fun way to bring this thrill back into a long-term relationship.

3) Support His Crazy Dreams

He wants to start a rock band but he hasn’t picked up an instrument since his high school clarinet. It may sound impossible, but it’s still his dream. The key is to be there for him whether it succeeds or not. Corey, 31, is an online content producer with a dream of becoming a documentary filmmaker. One of the things that has kept him so devoted to his wife of seven years is the unconditional support she offers him. “I work weird hours and am always juggling several jobs at once. There are some projects I’ve worked on for over a year without making a penny and she’s still my number one cheerleader. I can’t imagine finding another woman like that.”

4) No Strings Attached

By giving your man the space and freedom to be his own person and do his own thing without expecting anything in return, his respect for you as a companion increases exponentially. “My wife lets me host a bi-monthly poker game at our house and she has never once complained or used it as a bargaining chip,” says Corey, 31. “She’s so cool about things like that. It makes me really proud to tell people she’s my wife.”

5) Don’t Skip out on the Sex

Men like sex. This information is nothing new. But sometimes it’s worth reminding that there is a strong correlation between a healthy marriage and a healthy sex life. “Not everyone is blessed with a supercharged libido,” says Laura, 53. “That’s why, as a woman, it is your own responsibility to figure out what turns you on so you can continue to have a sex life.” Katie, age 30, has two young children, a full-time job, and still manages to find time to experiment in the bedroom. “I try to surprise my husband with things he wouldn’t expect. It keeps him on his toes because he’s constantly wondering what I have in store for him next.” And a man who is busy wondering about you, doesn’t have time to wonder about anyone else.

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Blog Description

Jessica Brody, author of the forthcoming novel, The Fidelity Files, explores the thorny topic of infidelity in modern-day society